Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Well Shit


Shit shit shit. I am really mad about this. I am mad about it every time it happens, but since my man is from Maine, and my best girlfriend is from Maine (I like Mainers, it's true) and she and her gal are headed back to Maine, this struck a little closer to home. There was some really great, creative campaigning on the no side - I don't know that anyone is calling this a campaign failure. Just a dumb American failure.

In other shit, last weekend a predator, likely a possum, ate one of our chickens. This chicken. Our sweetest, dopiest chicken. One of our best layers. A family favorite because she had been through a lot and was scrappy as hell and had a neck about a mile long and when she stretched it in your direction you had to giggle. Ben found her, and then I found her sister, Ruby, who had been chewed on but was still looking spry. She's in the basement infirmary now, being fed yogurt and vitamin e mashes and greens and other special treats. We cleaned her up, clipped feathers that would impede healing, and covered her in neosporin and choice chinese herbs. She is lonely, but eating like a champ, and we are hopeful. We learned about 300 lessons in the span of 12 hours, and I feel tougher, sadder, and wiser. The other girls are all fine, and looking fine - the molting has feathered them in with shiny new tail and wing feathers, along with sweet downy feathers on their tushes and undersides. I take a lot of joy in seeing them look so handsome.

In still more shit, my camera is really issuing a death rattle. I think that's why I haven't been here much. The camera want is pretty strong over here right now, I miss seeing the world that way.

Need a haircut. This may be as long as it gets, washing my thick mop is driving me nuts.

Can I express complete and total bewilderment, even disgust, at the crafting trend of making food objects out of felt and soap and yarn?? Who on earth would want a FELT piece of pumpkin pie? Or a knitted doughnut? Or a soap piece of pizza? Seriously, I look at these items and just feel disappointment, like big "oh the world" disappointment.

In random other food thoughts: we discovered oat groats and now I cannot stand oatmeal. Groats are the bomb, just cook them up the night before and heat them up in the morning. Awesome. Also: pickles in your barley soup. I read this old recipe that did that and was speechless for a moment and then I made the best barley soup ever and diced up the last of our summer pickles and it was truly amazing. You will probably be all "woah, there are pickles in here" even when you put them in there yourself, but it will be good.

Also, this movie is lame, even if Hilary is sure nice to look at.

May the shit avoid you all.

7 comments:

queenbeehoney said...

This post made me laugh! And I was going to go see Amelia until I read the NYT review which said that instead of being a tribute to Amelia, it was a tribute to modern dentistry. Pearly whites all round in every scene. Sort of dampened my appetite to spend more than a $10 bill.

sorrygardener said...

Sincerely sorry about your chicken. Otherwise, the post had me laughing from title to end. Get a haircut. Buy a camera. Heal the other chicken. Next week will be better.

jimmycrackedcorn said...

Teriffic entry! I think I need to try that recipe so I can be all "Whoa, I'm putting pickles in this." :D Thanks!

Anna Allen said...

aw, sorry about all the shit! that's no good! but i do have to say i laughed at your comment about the soap pizza and felted/knitted food items. i completely agree. besides the fact that i wouldn't waste my time making something so silly. i guess i'm a slow knitter, though...

dig this chick said...

haha good post. Shit and all. Boo about gay marriage vote-down, yay about disgust over pizza soap. And, so sad about your chicken! Dangit that sucks. Our girls have never molted! What's up with that, chicken pal?

Heather said...

Thanks for all the nice no more shit wishes, everyone.

Nici, we still have two girls who haven't yet molted, so maybe your ladies are also on the slow train. We did have one chicken molt so slowly that we barely realized she molted until one day I noticed that she was all shiny and new. Hens, they keep you guessing.

queenbeehoney said...

Yes, just the same way daughters keep you guessing, molting into new versions of themselves when you least expect it.